It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Glasgow edition of
Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Glasgow. If you have
one of the Glasgow editions you may need some help understanding the
commands. The Glasgow edition may be recognised by looking at the opening
screen. It reads WINDAES 98 with a background picture of a Buckfast bottle
superimposed on a Clydebank flag. It is shipped with a Buckfast
screensaver.
Note:
The Recycle Bin is labelled Oot tae hell
Dialup Networking is called Ma Mates
Control Panel is known as How Tae Feck Aboot Wi The Settins
Hard Drive is referred to as Big Disk
Floppies are known as Them Wee Plastic Bastards
Other features:
OK = its aww-right
cancel = bog off
yes = aye
no = nae chance
find = get it yer sel'
go to = orr therr
help = ah cannae dae it
stop = gie's sum peace
start = move
settings = settins
programs = stuff 'at does stuff
personal folder = ma shit
Also note that Windaes 98 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation
marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDAES 98:
tiperiter = a word processor
cullerin book = a graphics program
addin mershene = calculator
scratch paper = notepad (usually unused)
pikchers = a graphics viewer
sounds = CD player
dole money = M/S accounting software
Sellik = a spreadsheet of Celtic F.C.'s recent scores
Bevvy = local off-licences by area code and price of Tennent's Super
tax records = usually an empty file
Kappa tracksuit inventory (usually 3 meg file)
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the
Glasgow edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
Submitted by Chris Skelhorn
